What do you do in bed? At first glance, that question sounds dirty to me. And, honestly, I wish I was doing some dirty, crazy things in bed, but realistically, what I do in bed isn’t all that exciting. I sleep. I stress about stupid stuff that doesn’t matter. I take an Advil PM if my ears are aching. I watch reruns. I FaceTime people. I think about how much sleep I’m not getting, and I waste time on social media. And these tweets about stuff people do in bed prove I’m not the only one doing boring stuff in bed.
It all started when #StuffIDoInBed started trending on Twitter. All sorts of people on Twitter came out with responses about what they do in bed that are way, too real. From scrolling through Twitter for hours on end to thinking about their bae’s doppelgänger to snuggling with a teddy bear to reading to gazing lovingly at their dogs, just read through these tweets and TRY to tell me these are not exactly the things you do in bed, too. Read along and feel more normal than you’ve ever felt before.
You have some super, super existential thoughts.
StuffIDoInBed Contemplate my life problems and reasons of existence
— (@haniabihaidar) #
You fall asleep reading.
StuffIDoInBed Read a book and then go to sleep.
— (@nicholas_whaley) #
You stress about everything you’re procrastinating on.
StuffIDoInBed Think about all the homework I won’t do
— (@ant_judy) #
You think about all of the sleep you’re not getting.
StuffIDoInBed not get enough sleep
— (@chrixtiannn_) #
You let your phone slip out of your hands.
Drop my phone on my face 😐 #StuffIDoInBed https://t.co/S6Btzle4UO
— (@misssweetttea) #
You overthink every little thing until it’s time to wake up again.
StuffIDoInBed overthink about irrelevant stuff, preventing me from sleeping
— (@shiroandallura) #
You… throw your bed down a cliff?
StuffIDoInBed very exciting things https://t.co/sS6PZDEMrX
— (@keet0007) #
You stay on social media instead of sleeping.
StuffIDoInBed Tweet. When I really should be sleeping… https://t.co/Vbe91D3eJ5
— (@feistycovfefe) #
You think about your bae’s doppelgänger.
StuffIDoInBed I usually think about baseball. Not to last longer, it’s ‘cuz my girlfriend looks like Pete Rose.
— (@bobthebirdman) #
You stress about that one dumb thing you said once ages ago.
StuffIDoInBed Stress about a stupid thing I said 4 years ago
— (@psychopogostick) #
You try to fight off the flood of embarrassing thoughts.
StuffIDoInBed Try to sleep while my brain plays a greatest hits montage of embarrassing things that have happened to me.
— (@welease_wodger) #
You eat an entire meal.
Eat a full course meal. #StuffIDoInBed https://t.co/WgAelmQrCW
— (@iamdhop) #
You get in arguments with your pets.
StuffIDoInBed Tell the cat to keep its ass out of my face.
— (@culinaryoracle) #
You marathon your favorite shows.
Watch Netflix #StuffIDoInBed
— (@rcarterscholar) #
You eat some yummy snacks while you watch movies.
Eating chocolate and watching movies. #StuffIDoInBed
— (@mina_masters) #
It differs from bed to bed… BOW CHICKA WOW WOW.
StuffIDoInBed , you ask? Depends on whose bed https://t.co/cVhC6lpACD
— (@mseric) #
You spoon your pillow.
Practice spooning with my pillow #StuffIDoInBed
— (@swissmistress) #
You swipe through dating apps.
StuffIDoInBed: swipe left or right
— (@marcasm73) #
You play funny jokes on your SO while they sleep.
StuffIDoInBed I like covering my gf’s naked body with plastic army men & giving them orders in German.
— (@bobthebirdman) #
You spend way too much time on Twitter.
StuffIDoInBed scroll through twitter
— (@chellemybell22) #
You embrace your Sunday Scaries.
View Monday with dread #StuffIDoInBed
— (@jokyo2020) #
You get, like, philosophical.
Contemplate about relativity of my existence. #StuffIDoInBed
— (@zee_lilly) #
You avoid your problems.
StuffIDoInBed I pretend to sleep to avoid doing important things like feed my kids or take them to school
— (@bigmacher) #
You embrace your love for your dog.
StuffIDoInBed Gaze lovingly at my dog and wonder how I got so lucky
— (@thatrebelgirl8) #
You sleep and then wake up to cry and repeat.
Sleep and cry #StuffIDoInBed
— (@tylermanning67) #
You cuddle with your cat.
Cuddle with my kitty #StuffIDoInBed
— (@cheechootrain) #
You work in a nice combination of crying, farting, and snoring.
StuffIDoInBed Cry Fart Cry Snore Snore louder Is that motherfucker dead? No. He just farted again. Cry some more Fart some more.
— (@destrybrod) #
You think about how much you hate your job.
StuffIDoInBed Contemplate life and wonder if I really need this job 😓
— (@thatrebelgirl8) #
You snuggle up with your teddy and read a book.
StuffIDoInBed reading books with my teddy 🐻 https://t.co/QutovZlFsl
— (@maverickmuhu) #
You sit there and wait for your brain to stop going wild.
StuffIDoInBed I wait for my brain to shut up.
— (@notsurewhere) #
Or you just snuggle up with a teddy sans book.
StuffIDoInBed Curl up under the blankets with bae, I mean bear.
— (@zarrarsalahpti) #
OK, so maybe the guy who lines up little army guys on his girlfriend and commands them in German while she sleeps isn’t quite relatable. But, I mean, how hilarious is that?
Anyway, I hope you are all rejoicing in the same resounding sense of normalcy that I am right now. I’m normal! I’m normal! Everybody stays up all night thinking about that one embarrassing thing they did that one time in fourth grade! Everyone wastes way too much time on their phones instead of sleeping! Everyone FaceTimes their mom in the middle of the night when they have a scary nightmare… oh, wait, nope, that’s still just me.
You get the picture here. Next time you’re lying in bed, trying to figure out why you can’t fall asleep — or why you’re not doing things in bed — just know there are millions of other people out there feeling the same way.
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